I moved to DC in 2015 from Tulsa, Oklahoma. I was 18 years old and about to begin my college career at Howard University. I was naive –my eyes always widened at the excitement of the city. I was fairly blinded by the idea of opportunities in front of me.

The only comparable feelings I can think to truly put my experience on display is that of Jenna Rink in one of my favorite 2000s rom-coms 13 Going on 30.

I come from a small town right outside of Tulsa. Believe it or not, everyone knows someone who “thinks” they know you. It’s a nice city though. They keep up with the southern hospitality like most of its surrounding states. Imagine, if you will, Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side nice, but multiply that by 3.

I’ve literally seen people give homeless men the clothes off their backs. It’s that nice.

Like my favorite female protagonist, Jenna in her coming of age story, I longed for my more. I wanted my own “Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving.” I just wanted to be somewhere else and, in my own way, I was running away from home.

Your senior year of high school should be viewed as a time of renewal. It’s one of your defining moments. You have a world of opportunity if you set yourself up for that. You can shoot for the stars. That’s what Howard University was for me– my chance to shoot for the stars. A Hail Mary.

Me going to Howard was it. I had my bags packed and ready. It took a minute to convince my parents I would be okay with me living so far away, but my parents have never been the type to hold me back from my opportunities.

My only dream was to be a journalist. Like Jenna and her love of Poise Magazine, I wanted to work for magazines. I wanted the corner office with a secretary and the chance to come up with spreads and layouts. Since I was little, I used to go through magazines and tear photos out. I had walls in my room just dedicated to collages of my favorite articles and celebrities. I was always reading and I constantly wanted to produce content. But, I always knew that where I was headed was bigger than where I was born. I love my city. I was raised by my city. But, I outgrew my city and I had to move on.

When I came to Howard, I knew nobody. I was the first person in my immediate family to go to an HBCU so all I knew were party stories from my cousins. I had never been catcalled on the street, had never tried mumbo sauce, I had no friends and I left everything I ever knew. The only things I had were my possessions and the sense my parents gave me to figure stuff out. Which I’m still doing.

I fell down many times. That’s part of growing up. We hate falling but we’ll never learn if we never fail. It never gets easier saying goodbye. It’s always hard because I don’t always know when I’ll see my people again. You just have to pray its sooner rather than later.

Do I regret my decision? No. I haven’t regretted my choice a single day that I’ve lived in DC. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t get homesick sometimes. I regret not being able to be there for some people who were there for me when I needed them. I regret having to miss birthdays and holidays because it’s not always feasible for me to fly home. I love to visit, but I can’t stay.

They say when God is preparing you for your next position, he cleanses the area around you first. I’ve accepted a lot of the hardships I’ve had to face as collateral damage to my future as the woman God intends for me to become. Everything was scary at first, but trusting in a plan bigger than my own is helping me overcome that.